Monday, February 21, 2011

too deep is the well

It clearly has been a while since the last post, my friend.  I have been so sick.  There have been more than a few times that I find myself weeping from fear of what is wrong or from despair that I can't take it anymore.  I have missed so much work.  We are having difficulties in some important areas. 
Here's the kicker...I think that some of my residual problems, while began as physical and still are, something seems psychosomatic.  I have started having anxiety stronger than I have ever had.  It seems to only abate when Rob is sitting right next to me too.  This is how I have come to the finding.  I am not certain what to do with this information.  The problem with somatoform disorders is that you still have to handle to effects when they occur.  It can be overwhelming.  A word I am no stranger to. 

Friend, do not take this information too heavily.  I say these things to attempt to process.  Certainly not to weigh you down.  I still smile, you know. :)  And I still believe in hope. 

I turn 34 this week. 

I quit smoking yesterday.  I now vape on an E-cigarette.  It's my birthday gift to me and my three boys.  May I show myself the strength I possess and never again hold a cigarette. 

Here's to a healthy 34.


  1. I love you tons. I'm proud of you. We will beat whatever comes our way.

  2. You know I discovered that hidden msg and aspartame in foods were doing crazy things to me.

    My body has zero tolerance for either.